This extensive compilation CD features 17 original songs, 3 of which stem from the ill-fated sophomore effort, Life, which never really saw the light of day. These songs are Fly, Enough For Me and To Know You. While demo recordings were originally made of these rehearsal tracks, they were never fully realized...until I met Maxwell Gaver.
Look for a potential concert to be held in the near future as well!
It’s been an enjoyable ride. From my very first song, and onward through decades, I’ve been privileged to disseminate my thoughts and beliefs and be a total geek on stage. I got to sing in front of an audience of well over a thousand people. Cow of holiness. Looking back, I could have done a lot of things differently. But I did a lot of things right. I surrounded myself with incredibly awesome musicians and vocalists and talents and spirits that at least had a notion of what they were doing, even whilst scratching their heads at the goofball who was picking his nose and trying to sing about stuff he cherished.
Later, my style would change. After all, I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve wrestled with demons and celebrated sunshine. I’ve been to dark and light places, bounded over mountains and drowned in festering pools. It’s my aim to bound and drown for many years to come. There’s something rich and melancholy about the music and lyric-writing process that really plunges me deep into emotions that, as a stereotypical male I might be otherwise inclined to disregard. It’s a pleasant escapism and a horrible torment at the same time.
I thank and praise God in heaven for the gift of creation, because I believe that is what we were created to do: create. We get to echo His own marvels. I look at the universe and say “I might be able to do that someday.” On earth I’m restricted to a car to get from point A to point B (although “C” was always out of the question with my old Ford Focus)...but when creating music and poetry I can fly anywhere I want...cape-less and rocketpack-less.
All of these songs required a season to bloom, yet were drenched with meaning and articulation so as to remain pillars of expression for me: laughter and rage and emptiness and fortitude. Through the many scraps, pieces and crumbs that I’ve been able to gather up, some are public, and some are still private. Some are deeply personal; some are on display. Some are laced with ire; some are peppered with ecstasy. Some are about elements I’ve loved; some are about people I’ve hated. Some I embrace, some I detest. It’s a fruit salad of pathos and passions and darlings and devils, and a bedlam of nepotism and narcissism, generosity and “gimme,” worship and would-nots: everything that has made me human.
It gives me great pleasure to look back over the years and revel in the many different styles of creation I’ve employed, and to interact with these creations once more. It is nothing short of legacy. Some of them are bitter pills that I thought I’d recovered from, but again catapult me into rumination and a sentient plunge. I’m nostalgic and reflective like that.
A lot of my works, being deeply personal, are in fact time machines, able to suck me back into a vortex and set me down gently (or not so) back in a situation or time that was for whatever reason bathed in sentiment. Of all my musical works, I’m still most proud of the song Phoenix (click here for the original demo version, remastered), which represents not simply the symbolic mythological creature’s meaning; it epitomizes growth and renewal to me. It’s my best lyrical and musical work, in my opinion. I’m proud of all my works, but mostly those that really tap that well of angst, inner tension, struggles and questioning.
My musical career effectively started in 1993. We’re talking thirty years of music and performing, which I guess means I’m now old. All in all, thirty years has gone by too fast. I’ve gone through hell and high water, I’ve had highs and lows, I’ve experienced euphoria and bought pills. It’s been an interesting ride, and I’m thankful for all of it, even the isolation and pain…because there’s been a Common Denominator through all of it: and His name is Jesus.
He is my legacy, though I’ve at times sullied His Great Name. He has been my worship. When all else fails….Jesus, Jesus, and Jesus. He is our Legacy, the Lover of our souls, our Rock, our Firm Foundation, our running thread, our underlayment, our Light, our Way, our Truth, and our Life. All of these songs come from stories that happened while serving and loving Him. Good, bad, ugly, righteous, despicable or praiseworthy, He empowered me to sing and to make music, and this is dedicated both to Him as my Legacy, and to my boys, Brennan and Asher, to leave that legacy to them.
Boys, I love you beyond words. FOLLOW HIM. He is your legacy.
I am the kind of guy who wants to include everything. I always hate to trim the fat, and I have a lot of favorites. But this highly eclectic mix of these seventeen songs represent the best and mostest favoritest of all of my works from all of my collections.
I’m just thrilled to look back and thank God I’m still alive and can still make music. All of us make music every day, even the kinds without melodies or notes. As humans we form our own cells and are our own jailors...but Christ possesses more Potency than we ever dare to acknowledge or ask Him to employ...as such we too often “lead lives of quiet desperation,” as Walden wrote. May He smash through that and rock our worlds. May He be our legacy.
What will your legacy be? May God bless you on your own journey and as you leave your legacy. As my wife so eloquently penned to me long ago, “Everything in the past has led to now…and I’m in love with now.”
I’m in love with my legacy, and how God has repaid me for the years that the locusts have destroyed. I had to learn some hard lessons along the way. Cue my former pastor, great friend and mentor Bill Keogh who once told me, “With some people God has to use a 2x4 to get their attention; with you He had to use a tree.” A propos. Etiam verum. Truly, I’m grateful for the bumps. But for them, I would not have developed love for the passage.
Thank you to:
- my Jesus
- my beautiful wife Janine
- my wonderful boys Brennan and Asher
- Mom and Dad
- Jarod
- Paul Racey
- Max Gaver
- Cosmo Rossi w/Avast Studios
- Pastor Jon & Shawna Cardona and family
- Pastor Mark & Leslie Colavecchio
- Rob Diaz and all the New Bridge worship team members
- Taylor & Nick Burgess
- Tony Jacobson
- James Ramos
- Chris Flugstad
- Chrissy Morrow
- Carl Martin
- Jeff Brumley
- Marc Miller
- Gary Stroutsos
- David Revelli
- Mark Guenther
- My life group members
- Josh & Sarah
- Ken White and Bible App guys
- Dane Bauersfeld and the men’s ministry…uh…men
- my beloved coach and all of my beloved v-peeps
- Pastor James Fairfield
- Rachel & Roland & family
- Aric & Sarah & family
- Mark & Tracy & family
- Gabe & Carol & family
- Jon McElroy for providing my dream workspace
- Dick & Marylou for selling us our dream home
- Zach Trandum
- Dave & Diane
- Mason & Sarah
...and so many more people who have graced our journeys and allowed us to grace yours. My wife and I are in love with our home, our neighbors, our lives, our church, and our Lord. We are SO grateful for our legacy. Thank you all, and bless you richly.
Purchase your copy here.
Love,
Ryan
